God Never Talks To Me

I have definitely felt like this.  And at times I still do.  I have been praying to hear God audibly speak to me as if He were right in front of me.  The first time I prayed that, the verse Jeremiah 29:13 immediately came to mind.
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
God does things His way.  I don't know if He'll ever speak to me audibly, out loud like you talk to another person.  But it doesn't mean that He's not speaking to me. I asked Him to speak to me out loud for 2 reasons.
  1. I want someone to talk to.  I know that He is with me all the time, but I would like to have a conversation, a dialogue.  When I pray, I always ask Him to speak to me if He has something to say to me.  When I didn't hear something, I'd get frustrated and think "God's not talking to me."
  2. I want to know FOR SURE what He wants me to do. I don't want there to be any chance I mess something up, misunderstand what I'm supposed to be doing, etc. So, if I hear God speak to me as clearly as I hear my professor when she's standing in front of me in class, I know I'm good!
  Click here to read the rest on my blog, Love, Angela.

“Lord, I want Your will for my life” (not really)

So, I'm just going to be honest...I don't feel like doing what God has called me to do.  Well, that's not entirely true, but it is for the most part! I just don't feel like doing all the work it entails. I want to be a doctor, but I just wish I could fast forward like 10 years...that would be really great! There are so many factors that go into my reluctance to be pre-med.  In the past, I have dealt with doubts of whether I am smart enough, If I'm too old, etc. Click here to read the rest on my blog, Love, Angela. ♥ Angela

My Life as Jonah

Have you ever run from God? I have!  More than once...more than five times! In different ways I have run from God.  Whether it was ignoring what He wanted me to do with my life, ignoring Him because I was mad about how my life was going, continuing to do something I knew He didn't want me to do or many other things. So, I, like Jonah ran from God.  And I, like Jonah, got a timeout. A 'sit yourself down right here and think about what you're doing, why you're doing what you're doing and NOT what I told you to do' from God.  First, I have to state the obvious: it is really stupid to try to run from God! He's everywhere and you can't get away from Him. I did not literally try to escape physically and get away from God, but I did try to act like what God told me to do was a suggestion - on many occasions.  Maybe I'll make this into a series or something because I have a lot of examples, but I'll just give one example right now.   Click here to read the rest on my blog, Love, Angela. ♥ Angela

The Two Things That Made My Relationship With God More Real

I grew up going to church, my Dad is a pastor so I always heard God talked about.  Although, at some point you actually have to have your own relationship with God outside of what others tell you about Him.  When you're a kid, you're told about God and Jesus and how wonderful they are, but you have to then have your own relationship with God.  For example, if you have a grandparent that lives far away and your Mom always talks to you about how wonderful her mother is and how much she loves her and how great their relationship is.  Does that mean that you have a relationship with your grandmother because your Mom has an amazing relationship with her? No, it doesn't.  You may be really excited to meet her one day and you may want a relationship with her, but you don't have one yet.  It's the same thing with God, we have to make that transition from being told about how wonderful He is and how much He loves us to actually knowing that to be the truth for ourselves.  And the only way to do that is to actually have a relationship with Him. Click here to read the rest on my blog, Love, Angela. ♥ Angela

The ‘Small’ Things

I was roasting sweet potatoes today and I completely forgot that I ran out of cinnamon yesterday {first world pains, I know}. So, I was looking in the cabinets hoping that somehow I had overlooked another bottle of cinnamon in the back somewhere. Still no cinnamon.  Then I looked in my sister's cabinets (we're roomies). Still no cinnamon.  So, I said a prayer something like "please let me find some cinnamon."  I finished making the dressing and cutting all the other vegetables that go with the dish and hoped that it would taste the same without the cinnamon.  A half an hour later {they roast for an hour}, I add the chickpeas and go back to my room to do something and my sister just happens to come to my door to tell me something.  She leans against the doorframe with what in her hand? Cinnamon!! Like what are the chances?!! I said really quickly and probably way too excitedly considering we're talking about cinnamon {but you know how it is when you want your food to taste the way you're used to it tasting - I digress} "Is that cinnamon?" And she glances at it and says "Yeah." I ask her if I can have some and she says yes.  Then I say, "God answers small prayers." Click here to read the rest on my blog, Love, Angela.     ♥ Angela

Do I Want to be Happy?

Do I want to be happy? You'd think the answer would be "yes".  Technically the answer is "yes, I want to be happy". But (there's always a 'but')...but sometimes it's not that easy. Well, it hasn't been that easy for me.  I suffered from depression for well over a decade.  And the depression caused me to have some really negative thoughts that impacted every aspect of my life.  I let those thoughts control me until it was like second nature.  Those thoughts kept me safe and protected. If I didn't put yourself out there, I couldn't get hurt.  Happiness means you're vulnerable - at least that's the way I felt subconsciously. Click here to read the rest on my blog, Love, Angela.     ♥ Angela